We can't go back

My mom passed almost a year ago. Cancer.
  As my mother was living with my sister and brother in law before she passed, she had put quite a bunch of my kid stuff in storage along with things from my brother and sisters childhood. You know, grade cards, pictures, art, that kind of thing.
  All this was returned to me last summer. I just this last weekend got around to looking through it.
I found a big box of my old role playing stuff. D&D started it all for me, in 1977. A bunch of RPG games followed. Too many to list. There were books maps, the odd dice, bunch of other stuff.

I also found what I believe is my groups first blood bowl league roster. The date says 1989, so 2nd Ed 18 teams, not too shabby for a 2nd Ed league, huh?
 When I look over the roster, I think back to a bunch of good times. and a bunch of good friends who, for whatever reason, are no longer in my life.
Who could forget Billy "dumb dumb" Degrote? He's the guy who gave us the club name "The Thursday Night Heros". Or Shawn N. who just disappeared one day? Or Shawn L. who joined the army, and for some reason never contacted any of us again? I had a falling out with John K. who was, for a while my best friend. We went on a road trip and when we got back, his parents had a) decided to get a divorce and b) John had to move away with his father. That was a tough one.
 Bob Wagner was another dear friend. He was into the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and I loved Judge Dredd. We both loved punk music. We went to shows and we were always in a fight with someone at a gig (we were both skinheads). We would drive far and wide in serch of a cool game store or music shop. Comics, too. I just found his phone number online and I called him. We planned on getting together for a game of Bloodbowl (he hadn't played since 2nd Ed.), but I live about 90 minutes for him and he has a big family that takes up a lot of his time.
  And many more. Phil, Scott, Berny, Joe...

I guess I'm getting old. I for some reason find myself thinking of those guys. When getting together on a Friday or Saturday night and playing some game until the wee hours was a great time. Even the guys who were only in our gang for a short time, I think I miss them, too. It could be, that life has gotten me down this last year. I lost my job due to an injury at work. Maybe because my sons cancer has returned. Maybe because I don't see my brother and sisters much. I don't know...
 Life gets away from us. I sometimes have a strong desire to look these old friends up, contact them and tell them I miss them, but that's kinda weird, right? So i won't. But I want to, before we all get too old.