Fluff Update

by Nazgob

The Badland Outlaws have made it to the play-offs! They played their quarter-final match this morning and we can present this exclusive report from touchline reporter Joe Prince.

(n.b. a full match report and team sheets are available here)

The play-offs started with a bang.

Jack, the famed killer berserker smashed into the Orc defensive line. Hagdish Guung stumbled backwards, lulling the Norse player forwards, before bracing himself and surging forward, assisted by Rark Snotling-Muncher. Just seconds into the match and the most feared Norseman on the pitch was being carted into the dugout on a stretcher.

Things went from bad to worse for the Lads o Liberty. Scrambling to recover, they grabbed the ball and moved towards the wide zone. However, Oddgit, shaman for hire, saw them coming and unleashed the mighty foot of Gork; all three Norsemen beneath its scaly green sole were crushed to the floor. Witnesses swear that one of the men was squashed completely flat, only to be re-inflated by the team apothecary.

With the ball bouncing lose, the Outlaws moved up to recover it. The blockers took up positions to cover it, but 'da Hammer', Egbert Jones, fumbled the pick up. Luckily, the team captain was once against well-placed; he caught the bouncing ball, before blitzing free just seconds later.

Switching to offence, the greenskins pushed forwards. Their inexorable advance was unstoppable, not slowed by either Brort Eralg's injury, nor Splurgle's obsession with the wax dribbling from his ears. Just before the half time whistle, Rark sauntered over the line. In celebration, he ripped the head of a snotling and proceeded to live up to his name.

The second half started as normal. The ball was retrieved without incident. With the Orcs having the man advantage, they began a solid drive.

Midway through the half, the Norse began to fight back. Overconfident, Brort Eralg had stepped a little too far forward, opened himself up to the blitz. The ball bounced free and despite the best efforts of several greenskins and one Ulfwerener, it landed on the ground. Luckily though, Nuffle continued to smile on the Outlaws and as Andrew moved to secure the ball, he missed an outstretched Orc leg and plummeted to the ground.

Moving swiftly, the Outlaws reorganised their play and got the ball to the secure hands of Bar Goblin-Drinker. Prior to this game, the big Black Orc had achieved nothing all season, but he stepped up to the challenge, shepherding the ball into the end zone.

Although Jack did manage to score a couple of casualties, it was a case of too little, too late and nothing could prevent the 2 nil victory by the Badland Outlaws. They now march on to the semi-finals of the Zlurp Nation play-offs, to face either the aerial might of Poachers Pocket, or the evil Dwarves who call themselves the Gears of Blood Bowl.

Tune in next time!

Did you know? Determined to prove the supremacy of the Black Orc, team captain and owner, Rark Snotling-Muncher, has made a bet with his head coach. The fortunes of five snotlings rest upon who scored the most touchdowns; the Outlaws' Black Orc Blockers, or the Blitzers. Currently, the score stands at five all. With five little green existences on the line, it's no wonder that the semi-final game is already sold out.

Player Portrait: Brort Eralg

As some of you may know, I play (and commission) a league on fumbbl in honour of the Zlurpnation. Some of you may also remember that I hate Both Down. Thanks to them, I have been expanding the fluff of my team, the Badland Outlaws. Every game has a write up and a lot of players have a biography; I thought I'd share one of those with you today.

Famous Orc Player Profile BRORT ERALG

Team: Badland Outlaws Age: Unknown Height: 6' 4" Weight: 165lb Rushing: 75 yards Touchowns: 1 Casualties: 1 Most Valuable Player: 2

To everyone's surprise, and the Coach's eternal bemusement and disappointment, Brort applied for funding to go to the Altdorf College of Blood Bowl. There, instead of learning traditional Orcy skills, the blitzer discovered magical things to do with the pig-skin. Like pick it up. Unfortunately for Brort, his elvish tendencies have turned him into the team's whipping boy. Every time he gets near the line, one of the bigger orcs walks over and steals the ball from him.

Did you know? In a desperate attempt to bulk up and stop the bigger boys picking on him, Brort turned to drugs. They simply made him still thinner and more elf-like, as well as providing him with a free sex change operation. Brort now has her own line of Orcy lingerie.

Now, in case you found that boring, here's something to wake you up.

Congratulations to Nazgob !!

MMN's own Nazgob (aka @mike_whitman on twitter) has placed 3rd in "best painted" in the FF-Fields "Team Too Cool" contest!!  Congratulations man!  He has earned himself a custom pitch for his team "The Interlopers".

FF-Fields

Here is the photo he submitted (or at least one of them - check out the awesome harlequin conversions!)

I also did some digging (ps. Mike, your Flickr photostream on your blog is down) but I used some google-fu to find his Interlopers Flickr set - check out all the close-ups!

Great job Mike and congrats once again! Well deserved!

Less than 1 week GHAG photo reminder...

Yeah dudes...less than 1 week left to send me your gobbo pics...hummm...gobbo pics...that sounded kind of funny (get it??...im glad i call my "gobbo" Tiger Tail...LOLOLOLOL)

Please use the following email to send me your pics:

almightyabraxis[at]gmail[dot]com

Also,if you already mailed me the pic and want to send me the gobbo,please use this adress:

Paulo Miguel do Carmo Soares
Av. da Liberdade,Nº481-2ºEsq.
4620-167,Boim,Lousada
Portugal

Tic,Tac,Tic,Tac,Tic,Tac

Now,heres some more cool gobbos:

Heres Dalfort...he arrived yesterday directly from Crewe,U.K..Touchdown mate ;)



Here´s Connexion from the Nabbo League...(those guys over at Nabbo really know how to do great convertions he?)



And you probably remember this guy...here´s Nazgob "im too sexy" goblin ;)



Uhhhhh....ssseeexxxyyyyy :P



And thats it for now.
If you already sended me the pic and you havent see it here,please tell me because i may have forgotten.

Cheers all...

Both Down, I hate you

by Nazgob

I really, really do.

You pointed out a huge flaw in my gaming. In my hobby life, I try to put fluff first; mycetic spores, radical Daemonhunters, D&D characters that do more than stab things with sticks. However, my fumbbl activities of late have been woefully inadequate. Where once my teams and players had stories, now thar are simply a means to an end:

Chaos at the World Cup - Wood Elf practive

Waterbowl testers - Any idea why I made these?

Team Choas at the World Cup - I can't spell, but you still get the idea.

And then, Both Down dedicated an entire segment on why (and how) Blood Bowl teams deserve fluff. I felt ashamed. I can power-game as well as anyone else,* but I do like to have a theme going as well. Even worse, I knew what they were talking about. I help to run the Zlurp Nation Blood Bowl league over on fumbbl and a lot of the gingers' comments were ringing home. My very own, brand new league team, the Knife Sharpeners, had a theme so skeletal, it resembled the Death himself. Guilt made me delete them and start anew.

Both Down, how I hate you.

I have spent hours on my team since then. First, I started looking for a logo. Then, I realised I needed a name first and had to spend time with a map of the Warhammer World to find my little green guys' home town. Having settled on the Badlands to the south of the Empire, a quick google search came up with a variety of lovely icons. With a little bit of judicious editing, the Badland Outlaws were born.

Both Down, I still hate you.

Because I wasn't done there. I still hadn't got a back story for the team, so I had to spend another couple of hours writing (and formatting the HTML) for this little doozy:

Famous Orc Team Profile BADLAND OUTLAWS

Team Colours: Black and Orange Team Owner: Rark Snotling-Muncher Head Coach: Nazgob Players: Black Orcs, Orcs and Trolls

2499	Rark Snotling-Muncher becomes the head of his clan, the Gibbering Moon, by virtue of being the biggest, the ugliest and the smelliest Orc around. Not being able to spell did not affect his ability to fulfill his electoral promises.
2499-2501	Rampaging around the Badlands, Rark beats up several other clans, swelling his ranks.
2501	The Border Princes move against the growing Waaagh. Displaying a stubborn tenacity and stupidity that would make him famous, Rark leads his troops on a suicidal charge against the Empire gunline. The Waaagh over and clan destroyed, Rark retreats into the wilderness, disgraced.
2502-2509	Rark disappears from record during this period and the Gibbering Moon ceases to exist. It is surmised that at some point, during the years 2502-2509, Rark met disgraced Orcland Raiders coach Nazgob. The Black Orc later said that "Nazgob sed we wuz gonna die. I fort, I mite as well die rich and fame-uhs."
2510	The Badland Outlaws begin their career in the minor leagues. Beating up Skaven and Goblins came naturally and the Outlaws made the play-offs. However, in a catastrophic accident with a Slaaneshi wizard and a Halfling Master Chef, many of the Orcs' best players were turned into Chaos Spawn.
2511	Looking to rebuild, head coach Nazgob told Rark about a new opportunity; the Zlurp Nation league. With the money, women, drugs and fame on offer, the Outlaws moved north, stopping only in the Halfling Moot for supplies of fresh meat.

So eventually, I finish and I'm actually feeling pretty pleased. Inspired.

Even stranger, I find myself filled with a warm fuzzy glow, a positive sentiment directed towards the source of all this labour. I might even say, "Both Down, I love you!"

Filled with happiness and confidence, I played my first league game today, and the stupid green-skins lost. As disappointed as I was, I am solaced by the fact that the defeat can be woven into a story; it seems that as the owner and biggest Orc on the team, Rark disapproves of weakness and sacks any player without armour 9.

The moral of the story? Add some fluff and game with style.

And now, the Outlaw's theme tune:

I particularly like these lines:

From their holes and caverns creep

Ten million Orc and Goblin feet

With hungry hearts and sharpened knives

They come to take your worthless lives

Should anyone wish to sponsor the Badland Outlaws or any of their players, they simply have to ask.

*I know how to power-game; use Wood Elves. Whether I am as successful as anyone else is another matter entirely.

Finding time

by Nazgob

Well, I've hit the big leagues here and no mistake! Some of you may know me from various forums, my own blog, or even, and I hesitate to say it, from a real, actual, tournament. I'd like to think that I'm a reasonable coach, but in all honesty, I spend far more time painting than playing, even with fumbbl just a click away. This is why I wanted to talk to you about brushwork.

As a kid, I loved the Games Workshop games; from Warhammer to Necromunda, from Warmaster to 40k, I had models for everything. I was lured in by the purest gaming crack that is distilled from excellent models, engaging stories and wonderful paint jobs. Over the years, I've tried my hand at more or less everything in that list too. I've scratch built models, written (appalling) fan fiction and ruined more brushes than I care to remember.

But until recently, I was eternally dissatisfied with my achievements.

Predominantly, I would play army scale games but I found that what was in my head could never match what was on the table. If you were to pick up a copy of White Dwarf, you could hardly turn the page without finding gorgeous pictures of lovely, fully painted models. From lowliest trooper to mightiest hero, these would be painted without flaw and, when assembled into an army, they seemed to my adolescent eyes to be pure gaming nirvana; visual perfection.

When I looked from the page to my models, assembled on the bare MDF field of battle, I could only be disheartened. My terrain was ugly, my models half painted at best and sometimes (I am ashamed to admit) only partially assembled.

Of course, I was only young at this stage and in the years that followed I longed to play with a fully painted army. Regardless of the game I am playing, whether it is one designed by Games Workshop, Privateer Press or Spartan Games, I have always found it impossible; I have never played a game with a fully painted force.

Now, clearly, this says a lot about me. I am easily distracted and would often start three or four projects in a month. However, the bigger problem, which I have come to realise since I started playing Blood Bowl, is that I am a perfectionist. Everything I paint, I want to paint to the best of my ability.

Click to embiggen

The chap on the right is Master Tormentor Morghoul of the proud Skorne Empire. He took me about twelve hours to complete. To this day, he remains one of only four models that I have completed for my Hordes warband.

Click to embiggen

This gentleman took me around seven hours, conversion time included. He is part of my Daemonhunters force for Warhammer 40,000, which unsurprisingly, is not 100% painted.

Army scale games simply do not lend themselves to this sort of painting style. Recently, I started a Tyranid force with upwards of sixty models to convert, prime and paint. At a rough estimate, given my previous track record and allowing myself ten hours a week of hobby time, I shouldn't expect to finish them within the year, by which time, my interest will have waned. To get this army finished, I am having to force myself to paint in a different way; quickly and with short-cuts. These guys will not be painted to the utmost of my ability, but they will be finished.

Blood Bowl is my saviour. The game, I love. The theme, I adore. The range of models is excellent. And the time to finish a team? Next to nothing.

Click to embiggen

My Harlequins? At least eight hours a model; complete in three months. My Chaos Pact are taking even longer, yet I am confident that they will be finished by May.

This is the moral of my tale. It doesn't matter who you are or what your level of painting skill is; if you're playing one a game with a low model count, you have the time to do your best. You don't need to compromise your abilities as you might with an army scale game.

I'm not saying that you have to spend an inordinate amount of time on a single model, after all, I'm aware that my attitude probably makes me a little strange. Look at it this way, though: if you take your time, spend twice the amount of time on your models than you usually would, not only will they get better and your skills improve, but you'll still be playing with a fully painted team before the army scale gamer has finished priming his army!






P.S. This being Merry Mayhem News, I feel it's my duty to provide you with some form of light entertainment. To that end, I bring you the very best rock band that my home county has to offer.

Welcome Nazgob...

Yeah dude...Welcome to the Merry Mayhem News Crew...

After long chats through Facebook,Nazgob finally told me that he wanted to be a part of the crew.He told me that his life was becoming a little boring and,he wanted to enjoy the pleasures (mainly girls and booze) of being a Mega Star.

Since im such a cool guy,i´ve talked with the other (cool) guys and,we´ve decided that we were going to accept Nazgob in our little den of the 1000 corpses....thats what we call to the secret room in which we play Blood Bowl by the way....yes....we do have a secret room...but its not a den...

So,brother Nazgob,here´s a taste of the privileges you´ve won by entering our brotherhood...yes....we are a brotherwood...with a secret den...or room...but its still secret.



LOLOLOL

The truth is,Nazgob has a cool blog (click HERE),he painted some cool teams,he´s a Blood Bowl fanatic like the rest of us and,most important,he seems like a great guy...and for me,thats everything...so...Welcome to the crew mate,i hope you enjoy it and please feel free to contact the other MMN members because they are great guys too.